Read what our guests have to say…

“Nobody Died”

I stayed at this writer’s retreat during the winter months, while finishing my last book, and I give it 4.5  stars. It is a gorgeous setting, with a quaint farmhouse and charming outbuildings, and I thoroughly enjoyed daily rambles through the vineyard and along the trails in the woods with my dog. It was a wonderful rustic setting, where I could use my chainsaw all day every day, if I so desired, or improve my target shooting down by the pond (although be warned there is a grumpy neighbor behind the hill where the bullets land, if you do this). I guess my rating would be 5 stars, except for a few small things that took some getting used to. First, on the day I arrived, I found a backpacking millennial hanging out like she lived there. Which was fine. At least for the first hour. Apparently, this is a thing, as it seems to happen periodically (swarms of them showed up and stayed for days during the recent solar eclipse). Also, the guy who apparently runs the place shows up at random times and sometimes brings his dog. Which would be fine, except for the lists he leaves all over the place. I never read them, but he always seemed surprised that the firewood was running short, and he was excessively enthused with the pellet stove, considering how much easier and more charming it was to use the woodstove.  Still, my dog was very enthusiastic whenever the guy showed up, even if it was late at night. The cost for staying there was quite reasonable, although the instructions for feeding the livestock seemed mighty picky, and the beer was not always well-stocked. Still, the owner was very understanding whenever I had to leave for a few days, and just to be clear, nobody died (the geese and chickens were dead to begin with)! There was that time the one-horned goat escaped and released all his buddies, but my dog had a great time chasing the goats, horse, and llama all over the barnyard. The llama, by the way, is sorta ornery, like his owner, but the goats are very friendly, and the horse only bites sometimes. It was slightly disconcerting, when I first showed up, that the owner kept referring to the quaint cabin that I used for a writers retreat as “Hell Shack”, but after a few visitations, it started to make sense, and for the most part it was warm and charming—especially after I remodeled and refurnished the space. Also, I enjoyed a few extra perks, like parking for my pickup truck, vw van, 4wd rig, canoe, and various and sundry bicycles. The blizzard and three weeks of skiing were an unexpected bonus, and at no additional charge. And although several wild parties apparently took place during my periodic absences, the various loaded weapons that I left laying around for sport apparently never discharged, or at least, again, Nobody Died. In the end, it was, all told, a very satisfactory experience, and one that I would do again at twice the price! Highly recommended.

★★★★ 1/2 — MGG2014

“Cold”

Cold.

★★★★★ — Grandma